The venerable video game Tetris celebrates its silver anniversary this year – that’s right, everybody’s favorite puzzle game is 25 years old! And you know, it’s still a lot of fun, isn’t it?
But somehow, when inventor Alexey Pajitnov created this elegantly simple diversion, I don’t imagine he had it in mind that the bricks that comprise his creation would someday become oversized, sentient and threaten the populace. Hardly! This is not was Dr. Pajitnov had in mind, and you giant Tetris pieces should be ashamed of yourselves for thinking this is what your creator wants you to do.
As I so often find myself saying, in these waxing days of the new millennium: What has science wrought?
When it’s raining, umbrellas are quite the thing. Nothing finer. Wait, what’s that you say? You have an umbrella that comes with a comically large portion of fish and chips?
Is that so?
I like the cut of your jib, sir. I must rescind my previous statement that nothing is finer than an umbrella. Truly, an umbrella with a large portion of fish and chips is finer.
Oh, I love hamsters. They are so cute! Some of them are excellent drivers, as well, when you get them a little motorized car that is the right size for their legs.
I’ll never forget Timmy, my first hamster. Boy, that hamster could drive. And he made up the most amazing stories, too! The nights we would stay awake late, talking and imagining a better world …
… wait just one damned minute here … does that say it’s bacon-flavored Diet Coke? OMIGOD. I thought they stopped making that years ago!
I had one of these pretend doctor’s kits when I was a kid. It was cheap black plastic and it kinda hurt your fingers to open the snap on the top. Inside was a plastic stethoscope, and a little plastic hammer that you were supposed to hit people on the knees with, and some plastic glasses.
OH CRAP, I’m all nostalgic for my lost youth now. I’d better stay away from eBay until the feeling passes, or I’ll end up buying another Rick Springfield record.
Oh, how vividly I remember the wars of 2075 – the Sandwich Wars, we called them in the years that followed, five tumultuous and horrid stretches of days that saw mother turned against husband, father against son, teacher against student. It was the ugliest of wars, made uglier still by the new tools we had invented, tools that allowed us to stay home and lob our weaponry at the other man without even showing up. All that remained, when the dust and our hearts settled, was one smoking ruin after another.
How much greater the tragedy that it was all waged over this very sandwich, one made with damned generic white bread no less!
This milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Damn right! Unfortunately, the yard was shortly thereafter overrun by screaming children, somewhere between 40 and 50 of them, all punching and kicking and flailing. The milkshake was spilled some time later.
Impossible to tell from this angle what kind of animal that is, but I’m guessing a bull. Like one of those Merrill Lynch bulls. You know, the one in the Bugs Bunny cartoon about the bull fighter, where he swallows the rifle and then can shoot bullets out his horn by swinging his tail? That one. That’s what I bet this animal looks like.
Also: A warm welcome to the latest batch of pervs arriving via Google!
