Rubber duckie, you’re the one! You make running in fear for my life so much fun!
Equal parts brilliant and stupid, this one is. Brilliant: Giant Sony PSP, which must just have amazing resolution on a screen that size. Stupid: They put it UP IN THE AIR WHERE YOU CAN’T REACH THE BUTTONS.
I guess you could rent one of those cherry-picker tree things to play it, but who’s gonna bother with that? Dumb.
Office supplies, Robots | No Comments »
See, this just makes all of us guys look bad. We go out of our way to stop at Kroger on the way home and get you flowers. And we don’t even get the sorry-ass $3.99 bouquet. No, we opt for the $9.99 one, because it’s nicer and has some of that frilly white stuff in it and you know, you’re worth it, honey.
But then some jerk face comes along and buys his girl THIS giant thing, and we all look like tools. Thanks a lot, jerk face!
Also: HELLLLLOOOO LADIES!
Divine hammer, People | No Comments »
OMIGOD look at the size of this donut! Looks really good, especially with the nice marbling of the sugar. A little bit lopsided down in the lower-right corner, but who am I to complain? You put this in the microwave for 15 seconds and you’ve got one happy man on your hands.
Please make sure it is the donut you place in the microwave, though, and not the iPhone. That’s a mistake I’ve made far too many times, let me tell you.
Food | No Comments »
Man, I’m thirsty right now. So very thirsty … wish it was Friday, because then I could get my drink on, but it’s only Thursday …
Hey … wait a minute … “thirsty Thursday!” Get it? It kinda rhymes, and it’s kinda alliterative? THIRSTY THURSDAY! That’s a new one! Man, I’m clever.
Also: Helllllooooo ladies!
Food, People | No Comments »
Ah, it’s the most wonderful time of the year! Sing along with me, won’t you, the good old holiday favorite “Frosty the Snowman”!
Frosty the snowman was a jolly happy soul,
With a corn-cob pipe and a button nose
and two eyes made out of coal.
Frosty the snowman, oh the kiddies loved him so
until that one time when drunk Mr. Howard from down the street knocked him over and he started rolling down hill, and before you know it he knocked a hole about three feet across in Miss Purdy’s living room wall. You think that old woman had a face like a dropped meat pie before that, you shoulda seen the look she gave all of us that day, I’ll tell you what.
There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found …
Divine hammer | No Comments »
According to the photographer of this beauty, Albert here is the world’s largest bull. He has, and I quote, “baby blue eyes and giant concrete gonads.” Which means he has a lot in common with me.