Comically Large Things

VVVRRRROOOOOOOOOMMM! What’s his name!?! Big ol’ truck. F’in A!

KICK ASS!

Anybody who calls this a “little red wagon” is feeding you a bunch of crap – this is a hilariously large red wagon! Nothing little about this one. But look how happy those people are – that’s awesome! The only problem, as always, is related to practicality – by the time a child loads this up with his or her favorite toys, it will be very heavy, prohibitively heavy to allow it to be pulled. That might make the child sad. So you want to weigh the pros and cons before ordering one of these for your kid.

Milton would totally approve of this. You have to wonder about the aerodynamic qualities, though. And where are you going to find staples big enough to actually use this thing for its intended purpose? Not practical. Points for effort, though.

You have to wonder how this kind of thing gets started. One wise guy says, “Hey, I know, let’s make a really big truck!” and then his jerk of a friend says, “No, wait, what about a really huge truck!” And they’re slapping each other on the back and drinking Amstel Light and before you know it, somebody mocks up a prototype for a truck that no normal human being could possibly need. This truck, for instance, makes no sense in practical, day-to-day driving applications. I bet the mileage is atrocious. And what about novelty license plate frames? There’s no way the standard-sized ones will fit on the front of this thing.