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Comically Large Things

Because sometimes, size matters.

This is a site dedicated to things that are abnormally large. You should totally read all of the stuff on this site, internalize it, take it home with you and meditate on it. This is the essence of life, the breath of Gaia, the very reason we are all here. Disproportionately large stuff = happy. Rock on, my children!

Giant monkey, with girls!

I’m really leery of piracy and copyright/brand infringement - I’ve had a bad taste in my mouth ever since I got burned on that copy of PhotoShop I got on eBay that turned out to be a dud (my first clue should have been the fact that PhotoShop was spelled with a “K”). And so, color me a cynic, but I’m inclined to believe that this is NOT Curious George but some cheap knock-off. Where’s the guy with the yellow hat? Where’s the Jack Johnson music? I call shenanigans on Curious Forge!

(Curious Forge! Isn’t that clever? Just came up with that, just now. Totally.)

Also: Hellllooo ladies!

16.May.08 Animals, Toys Comment (1)

Giant remote control, with girl!

“Judge says, ‘what you got in your defense, son?’ I said ‘57 channels and nothing’s on.’” Wouldn’t have had that problem if you had this sucker! I bet this thing could find entertaining content at the drop of an antennae-shaped hat. Why, I bet there’s a button here marked “Gooder Than Hell.” Gotta buy one of these.

Also, hellllloooo ladies!

10.Apr.08 Appliances, People, Toys Comments (0)

Giant microphone!

Get out of the way, everybody, because I’m about to rock this thing! The mike stand don’t stand a chance! Seriously, how much fun would it be to get on this thing and bust out a few bars of “Precious and Few” by Climax? Or maybe “After the Lovin’” by Engelbert Humperdinck. That’s one of my classics.

10.Apr.08 Musical instruments, Toys Comments (0)

Giant suckers!

This is every kid’s dream, and every dental hygienist’s worst nightmare. And can you imagine the stomach ache you’d get if you ate a whole one of these things?

Reminds me of the time I went to McDonald’s on a field trip in second grade. Mom and dad didn’t like McDonald’s, so we never went, which meant I was totally jonesing for it. When we got there, I ate like three Big Macs and a Filet O’Fish and two things of fries. I was sicker than a dog, and still had to walk through the museum that afternoon.

I guess what I’m really trying to say, people, is “moderation in all things, especially when you’re dealing with Filet O’Fish.”

03.Apr.08 Food, Toys Comments (0)

Giant pair of lips, smoking a cigar!

Wonder what this store sells. Lipstick? Costume jewelry? Model airplane glue and paint? Cigars? I dunno. But that’s a heckuva cigar, I’ll tell you that, and it looks like the lips are saying something. Can’t make it out, though.

24.Mar.08 Office supplies, Toys Comments (0)

Giant gnome!

We had gnomes on my lawn when I was a kid. Mom thought they were cute, and dad was indifferent. Not me, though, because I knew what those things were up to. I watched them from my bedroom window at night, when everybody else in the house was asleep … and the gnomes thought I was too, because I could see them switching positions. So we’d get up in the morning and everybody noticed that the one with the red hat was now standing where the one with the blue hat was yesterday - but nobody said a thing. It created a rift, a silence, which in time would tear our family apart. I hate those damned gnomes.

Also, hello ladies!

22.Feb.08 Animals, Robots, Toys Comments (0)

Giant playing cards!

You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to say “hey, bra, you think we could get some normal playing cards in time for next month’s game? Seriously. And Deke, leave the fish tank alone. C’mon. Leave the fish alone.”

20.Feb.08 Toys Comments (0)

Giant crayons!

Hello girls! Here we have some nice folks using crayons that are ill-suited for writing or coloring. They’re just too big! If you have to use both hands to manipulate the writing instrument, you don’t have a hand free to hold the paper or coloring book in place. That means the paper or the book is gonna go sliding all over the place. A recipe for frustration. Coloring is supposed to be fun!

22.Jan.08 Office supplies, Pencils, Toys Comment (1)

Giant hose!

Holy crap, look at the size of this hose! Unbelievable. You know what would be totally bitchin’ camaro, is if you had a proportionately large sprinkler - one of those that spins around? No, wait, wait EVEN BETTER! A slip-and-slide thing big enough to accommodate the flow of water this sucker puts out! I think I’d probably be too scared to use it, now that I think about it.

22.Jan.08 Appliances, Toys Comments (0)

Giant horse, trying to abscond with some nice people!

Mall owners need to be more diligent about the kinds of things they allow within their space. Look at this irresponsibility, for instance - a scientifically impossible horse, trying to make off with a nice family of shoppers! Somebody is going to lose their job in front of this, I tell you.

04.Jan.08 Animals, Divine hammer, Toys Comments (2)