Archive for the ‘Robots’ Category

Giant PSP!

Posted on August 26th, 2010 in Office supplies, Robots | No Comments »





Equal parts brilliant and stupid, this one is. Brilliant: Giant Sony PSP, which must just have amazing resolution on a screen that size. Stupid: They put it UP IN THE AIR WHERE YOU CAN’T REACH THE BUTTONS.

I guess you could rent one of those cherry-picker tree things to play it, but who’s gonna bother with that? Dumb.

Giant egg, hatching a fully formed family OH MY GOD

Posted on August 5th, 2009 in Divine hammer, People, Robots | No Comments »

WHAT HAS SCIENCE WROUGHT!?!?

Oh jeez, I need to calm down. This “progress” is really getting to me. We now hatch families? Sexual reproduction wasn’t good enough for us as a species? I understand now why the Doctor occasionally turns a blind eye to our plight, ashamed of humanity.

CURSE YOU ALIEN VISITORS AND YOUR “HELPFUL TECHNOLOGY”!!

Giant Tetris pieces, attacking a young lady!

Posted on August 4th, 2009 in Divine hammer, Robots, Toys | 1 Comment »

The venerable video game Tetris celebrates its silver anniversary this year – that’s right, everybody’s favorite puzzle game is 25 years old! And you know, it’s still a lot of fun, isn’t it?

But somehow, when inventor Alexey Pajitnov created this elegantly simple diversion, I don’t imagine he had it in mind that the bricks that comprise his creation would someday become oversized, sentient and threaten the populace. Hardly! This is not was Dr. Pajitnov had in mind, and you giant Tetris pieces should be ashamed of yourselves for thinking this is what your creator wants you to do.

As I so often find myself saying, in these waxing days of the new millennium: What has science wrought?

Giant stone fist, punching a nice lady!

Posted on July 17th, 2008 in Divine hammer, Hands, Robots | 1 Comment »

No manners, that’s all I have to say about this. Here we have a stone golem, taking out his centuries-old hostility on a perfectly nice woman who just happened to walk by. His sorcerer was evidently a cruel master, and it imbued his stony heart with a distrust of all humanity.

Still, no need to hit a lady. Never cool, golem.

Giant denim jacket, with girl!

Posted on June 17th, 2008 in People, Robots | No Comments »

HELLLLLOOO LADIES! Nice looking jacket there. You pair that with a nice pair of stone-washed, baggy-fit jeans, and you’ve got yourself a look!

I do wonder what this thing costs, though. The economies of scale dictate that the smaller the audience for a given item, the more it must cost. Simple supply and demand, invisible hand and all that. So I’m guessing this thing must be very expensive, relative to other denim jackets of comparable quality, simply because there are probably only a small handful of guys that could fit it. So, on the whole, I probably can’t afford it.

Giant gnome!

Posted on February 22nd, 2008 in Animals, Robots, Toys | No Comments »

We had gnomes on my lawn when I was a kid. Mom thought they were cute, and dad was indifferent. Not me, though, because I knew what those things were up to. I watched them from my bedroom window at night, when everybody else in the house was asleep … and the gnomes thought I was too, because I could see them switching positions. So we’d get up in the morning and everybody noticed that the one with the red hat was now standing where the one with the blue hat was yesterday – but nobody said a thing. It created a rift, a silence, which in time would tear our family apart. I hate those damned gnomes.

Also, hello ladies!

Giant green shirt!

Posted on February 15th, 2008 in Office supplies, Robots | No Comments »

Stacy and Clinton would have a field day with this! That shade of green is all wrong – ALL WRONG I TELL YOU – for see-through. And where’s the clean line? There isn’t one. Plus, those bottom pockets are way disproportionate with the top ones. If you wear this, people are going to stare at you – and not in a good way, honey.