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Comically Large Things

Because sometimes, size matters.

This is a site dedicated to things that are abnormally large. You should totally read all of the stuff on this site, internalize it, take it home with you and meditate on it. This is the essence of life, the breath of Gaia, the very reason we are all here. Disproportionately large stuff = happy. Rock on, my children!

Giant bong, behaving inappropriately with a nun!

I got nothin’. Damned kids these days.

24.Jun.08 People, Rear ends Comments (0)

Giant toilet!

Ahhhh hahahahahaha …. hahahaha … toilet!

28.May.08 Appliances, Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant pants!

Hey, check it out - I just made up another song! Sing this one to the tune of “No Air” by Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown:

Tell me how’m I s’posed to breath with no pants / Ain’t you gonna see me with big pants / Tried to wear ‘em to school but they kept falling down / Ooooohhh, no pants / Ooooohhh, big pants.

BIG PANTS, BIG PANTS!

That’s the greatest song in the world. Except the high note makes my throat hurt. I always sing it way too loud, and then regret it.

(Also: Helllloo ladies!)

28.May.08 People, Rear ends Comments (0)

Giant pink butt!

I’m at a loss for words. Truly. My heart aches with the magnificence of this. I have but this to offer: HELLLLOOOO LADIES!

(Get it? I have “but” this? AAAHAHAHAHAHA! Classic.)

22.May.08 Divine hammer, People, Rear ends Comments (0)

Giant butt!

“Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette / smoke, smoke, smoke and if you smoke yourself to death / Tell St. Peter at the golden gate, that he’s gonna have to wait / ’cause you’ve just gotta have another 20-foot-tall cigarette.”

23.Nov.07 Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant panties!

When I got my MBA from Ohio State University, I specialized in customer psychology and merchandising at retail. The display we see here violates some basic merchandising rules that have been established over time as best practices: (1) If you’re selling panties, don’t remove them from the package and stretch them out with clothespins; (2) Don’t market your panties near the roller blades; and most importantly, (3) Offer a wide variety of panty colors. Pink and red? Some people are not traditionalists; they want colorful patterns and textures on their embarrassingly large delicates.

20.Nov.07 Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant butt, on a cake!

I like big butt-shaped cakes and I cannot lie! And you already know you can’t deny. This has to be the single greatest cake ever made. You know why? Because it can also look like boobs if you squint at it just right. I call the jean label! That’s some serious frosting action.

29.Oct.07 Food, Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant … umm … something

I don’t really know what I want to say about this. I know what Dr. Freud would say - or at least I think I do. But sometimes a corn dog is just a corn dog, you know? Maybe the faithful readers can make sense of this in the comments.

07.Sep.07 Hands, Noses, People, Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant wallet!

This is a giant wallet. You really need a giant wallet if you want to carry enough cash to pay for gasoline, you know? At today’s prices, who can afford to drive? Am I right, people, or what?

05.Sep.07 Office supplies, People, Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant butt plug!

“Here’s to good friends … tonight is kinda special!” Nothing sets off good times among a bunch of guys like a frighteningly large butt plug, the kind designed for horse owners. Get some of your broughams together, pop open some Pabst BR’s, fire up the Widespread Panic channel on the satellite radio, and pass around the butt plug. It just doesn’t get any better than this.

03.Sep.07 Divine hammer, People, Rear ends, Sports Comment (1)