Laugh all you want, suckers - this lady is probably smarter than all of us. You see, that hat is made of a special metal alloy that blocks the theta waves that are raining down on us every day from the space elevators. The theta waves were an unintended consequence of a benevolent technology gone horribly wrong, of course, and sometimes it falls to the people to find their own solutions.
This lady found a solution, and her mind is now safe. Plus, she looks snazzy. Who’s laughing now?
24.Jun.08 
Divine hammer, Hats, People 
Comments (0)
It’s Derby Week here in my humble hometown of Louisville, Ky., and you know what that means - time to break out the silly hats! This one goes way back, as you can tell from the yellowing of the photo, to a time when only the very wealthy could afford large hats; the majority of the population was relegated to wearing hats of normal proportions.
The war between the haves and the have-nots has done nothing but escalate, of course, and today the Great Hat Disparity of 1973 still burns fresh in the memory of those who lived through it. More people can buy large hats today, thanks to cheap foreign labor and an influx of inexpensive materials; however, the credit market is flooded with high-interest loans designed to get people into hats that they cannot really afford. You have no business leasing a hat, people, and if the salesman tries to talk you into a lease, then what you’re looking at is simply too much hat.
Oh, and also - helllooooo ladies!
02.May.08 Hats, People Comments (0)
This is a nice looking hat. It’s a bit big for her, but it kinda has to be to accommodate that impressive design.
Also, hellllooo ladies!
03.Apr.08 Hats, People Comments (0)
WOO-HOO! Who wants to go LARPing?!?! YES! You need a big martini if you’re going to do it properly, and it looks like this couple has already downed a comically large cocktail. But they didn’t eat the olives along the way, which is kind of a shame.
24.Mar.08 Food, Hats, People Comments (0)
I really enjoy typing the phrase “giant shrimp,” because it’s inherently contradictory. It’s like saying “tiny behemoth” or “interesting game of golf” - by it’s very nature and definition, simply not possible. But this giant shrimp defies convention right out of the gate, namely by wearing a ten-gallon hat and carrying a firearm! Nobody better screw around with ol’ Deputy Cocktail Sauce here. Because he’s packing. Nice bandana, too.
21.Mar.08 Animals, Food, Hats Comments (0)
Let the good times roll! Exquisitely trimmed and groomed beards/mustaches, elegant clothes, world-class chapeaus. And a bottle of something. This, my friends, is living!
27.Jan.08 Hats, People Comment (1)
Man, I really want to comment on this hat. And I really want to say “Hellllooo ladies!” But I can’t concentrate because of that damned tattoo. Just look at that! Can you imagine how bad that must have hurt! It’s right there on the ticklish bit! JEEZ! Makes me itch just thinking about it. Still, very nice, large hat.
03.Dec.07 Hats Comment (1)
Hey, I just made up another song. Sing this one to the tune of “Beautiful Soul” by Jesse McCartney:
I don’t want another giant hat / I don’t need anyone to hold me / I don’t want another giant hat / because I’m scared there might be some kind of parasitic thing inside that will go into my ear canal like the thing in “Star Trek II” and eat my brains!
03.Dec.07 Hats Comment (1)
Frosted Lucky Charms … they’ll scare the crap out of you! This guy looks like he’s actually trying to pick up a girl wearing a giant leprechaun head. That says something about the man’s confidence. He’s got some. What he doesn’t have is a sense of either discretion or proportion. I wonder if that’s a homemade leprechaun head or if he bought it somewhere? I looked on Amazon, but didn’t see any.
24.Sep.07 Hats, People Comments (3)
This little lady’s got the right idea. Frankly, I need one of those big ol’ sweatbands for when I’m rocking the Dance Dance Revolution. You should see the sweat I generate when rocking the DDR. It’s insane the amount of fluid that comes flying off of me. But it’s good times, you know? That’s how it is when you’ve got a mind to rhyme and two hype feet.
10.Sep.07 Hats, Sports Comment (1)
