Heck yeah! Let’s get this party started! Let me just climb up on top of this big ol’ can of Bud and pop the top … hang on, hold that side of it … let me get my grip first, it’s all sweaty and wet … dude, hold it tight, TIGHT, I SAID …
DAMMIT! I fell off the can.
28.May.08 
Food 
Comments (0)
I had some sushi last week for lunch. Tasted great, but it really upset my stomach - I was John Q. Bathroom for days, I tell you. You gotta watch out for the sushi, because when it’s good it’s good, but when it’s bad it will jack you straight up.
As for this maki roll here, well, it just looks sloppy to me. It hasn’t been sliced and plated, for one thing, but beyond that it looks like the ingredients are all out of proportion. And am I missing something, or is there no wasabi in there? Amateurs.
22.May.08 Food Comments (0)
“You are about to get one mother of a stomach ache. Why did you eat this thing, anyway? Don’t you realize that fortune cookies are not authentic Asian cuisine, but rather another crass bit of westernization? Shame on you. I bet you ordered sweet and sour chicken, didn’t you? You putz. Lucky numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42″
22.May.08 Food Comments (0)
Notice the happy look on everybody’s face in this picture. You see it? You see how happy they are to be standing there, smiling for the camera? Well, savor it, because ten seconds after this photo was taken, the pig was lying on the ground, the result of a crotch-ful of this woman’s knee.
Let me tell you something I’ve learned from experience, friends, and you’ll be wise to listen: Giant pigs are all hands. You see one wanting to get a photo with you and the little lady, you be on your guard. Get that ham sandwich look in your eye, and let the bastard know that you mean business.
22.May.08 Animals, Food Comments (0)
