Comically Large Things

Here, ladies and gentlemen, is a very large flower. Very large. Just look at the “vase” its stem is perched inside. I didn’t know they made transparent PVC pipe. They should, though, because that would make plumbing a much more interesting profession.

Not that it isn’t already interesting! I mean, think about all of the people you get to meet. Plumbing problems know no race, gender or socioeconomic boundaries. Why, were I a plumber, I imagine I would get to meet all kinds of fascinating folks! People from all walks of life! Astronauts, chefs, masseuses, sommeliers, musicians, snack machine restocker guys, men who wear monocles, cat groomers, fire hydrant painters, carpet de-lousers, the list boggles the mind!

And such interesting tools. Did you know that plumbers use something called a reamer? I had no idea. Then, at other times, they need the servics of a deburrer. No idea what that does, either, but it sounds quite nice.

Also: Helllllooooo ladies!

Sing along with me now, the good ole’ Sunday morning spiritual: “Fill my cu-uuuup / let it overflow / Fill my cu-uuuup / let it overflow / Fill my cu-uuuup / let it overflow / let it overflow with OH GOD IT’S OVERFLOWING WITH SOME BEARDED GUY WEARING A HAT.”

Sweet mother of god, it has finally happened. Our porcine friends have finally had enough of us, and have learned to emulate our locomotion. Next, inevitably, is their development of crude weapons, and then ever more devastating ones. And then we shall have to pay for every pork chop and rind we have devoured.

Gotta give her props for her fashion sense, though! That’s one nice looking Armageddon Pig.

Call me crazy, but I think the guy on the other end of this giant hand needs to see a doctor. What’s with those big, thick pink lines going around his skin? That can’t be good. And the unusual coloration, the unhealthy pallor. Dude, you gotta get that checked out.

While you’re in there, ask him if he can tell you why your hand is larger than most peoples’ entire body. I’d like to know the answer to that one, too.

Lookit! A big magnifying glass! The irony here, of course, is that this thing actually makes things look smaller. They did it wrong.

Also: Hellllooooo ladies!

What the hell is this? I never have any idea what’s going on.

No manners, that’s all I have to say about this. Here we have a stone golem, taking out his centuries-old hostility on a perfectly nice woman who just happened to walk by. His sorcerer was evidently a cruel master, and it imbued his stony heart with a distrust of all humanity.

Still, no need to hit a lady. Never cool, golem.