Laugh all you want, suckers - this lady is probably smarter than all of us. You see, that hat is made of a special metal alloy that blocks the theta waves that are raining down on us every day from the space elevators. The theta waves were an unintended consequence of a benevolent technology gone horribly wrong, of course, and sometimes it falls to the people to find their own solutions.
This lady found a solution, and her mind is now safe. Plus, she looks snazzy. Who’s laughing now?
24.Jun.08 
Divine hammer, Hats, People 
Comments (0)
I’m at a loss for words. Truly. My heart aches with the magnificence of this. I have but this to offer: HELLLLOOOO LADIES!
(Get it? I have “but” this? AAAHAHAHAHAHA! Classic.)
22.May.08 Divine hammer, People, Rear ends Comments (0)
Ever since the Great Monacle Debacle of 1972, metal fish have had to live their lives in hiding throughout most of North America. Nowhere is this more true than in Washington D.C., which was one of the battle’s central proving grounds.
Today, bands of metal fish wander the alleys, sewers and back streets of our nation’s capitol, smoking clove cigarettes and commiserating about what life used to be like for their kind; back in kinder times, before the days when bringing the head of a metal fish to the local constabulary meant a free chicken and a book of green stamps.
Occasionally, if you are lucky, you will see one of them that is brave enough to step away from the crowd and into the world that was once at least partially theirs. It usually happens at night, allowing them the ability to sneak back into the shadows at the first sight of a Regal Harpoon. They come seldom, they stay only a short time, and then they are gone - which is the story of the metal fish on the whole, as well.
16.May.08 Animals, Divine hammer Comments (0)
Here kitty kitty …. heeeeeerrrreee kitty kitty …. AAAAUUUGGGGGHHHH! What the heck happened to this thing? Cute little fluffy guy has turned into a monster by anybody’s account!
That said, this kitty does have a rather regal look about him. I attribute it to the tufts of billowy fur around his neck - rather Shakespearean, don’t you think? If this were my comically large kitty, I’d name him Sir Paddington Cadbury III. And I’d make him a litter box out of old Crown Royal bags.
07.May.08 Animals, Divine hammer Comments (0)
Holy crap. Look at this ant! You can get some perspective on just how big this thing is by comparing it to the girl on the bike off to the lef- …
OMIGOD! GIRL, GET OUT OF THE WAY! What are you doing riding your bike in front of a killer ant! He’s hopped up on that giant sugar-lick of his - get out of the way!
14.Apr.08 Animals, Divine hammer Comments (0)
AHHHHHHGGGHHGHH! EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WAY! There’s a freakishly large cup of coffee up there, and it’s about to tump over, spilling god-knows-how-much scalding hot liquid on whomever is below! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!
And yes, “tump” is a word. It’s an intransitive verb, meaning “to fall over.” I totally looked it up.
03.Apr.08 Appliances, Divine hammer Comments (3)
This is either a huge lady, or a little bitty guy and his dog. I’m thinking it’s the former. Very large. Looks like she’s relaxed, too. Laid back, with her mind on her money and her money on her mind.
03.Apr.08 Animals, Divine hammer, People Comments (0)
Here, friends, we have proof of the old “everything in moderation” rule, because as this picture demonstrates, even healthy foods can lead to unfavorable side effects if eaten in too great a quantity. Who is to say what caused this girl’s amazing growth spike - broccoli? liver? blueberries? - but whatever it was, it was clearly too much. Young ladies should not grow to a size at which they are able to stomp the family car.
28.Feb.08 Divine hammer, People, Vehicles Comments (0)
Here you see the dangers that are inherent in squid husbandry. Look carefully and you’ll see a leg and part of an arm of the partially digested person this squid has just eaten. It’s a sad but true fact of life in our genetically engineered age: If you take chemically and radioactively altered creatures into your home as pets, there is always a chance they will turn on you if the electric barrier should ever fail.
20.Feb.08 Animals, Divine hammer Comments (0)
DUDE, GET OUT OF THE WAY! There’s a huge pizza cutter rolling toward you … and dammit if it doesn’t look like your “friend” is doing the pushing! You call that guy a friend? Look, he’s even smiling as he does it! I bet he’ll be laughing his rear end off once he bisects your upper leg. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, homes, and get some new friends.
20.Feb.08 Appliances, Divine hammer, Food Comments (2)
