Smile while you can, people. Once you get to the bank and try to deposit that, and the girl behind the counter informs you that there’s $5 convenience fee for depositing a comically large check, you won’t be so smiley then, will you? No, probably not.
Well, maybe you will. Five bucks isn’t that much when we’re talking about ten grand, and honestly, it’s a pretty fair price for the service, given how much work it creates for the bank. Never mind.
People who collect coins are called “noomismatics,” and those folks would salivate at the sight of this giant 2-dollar coin. What the photo doesn’t show, interestingly, is the giant vending machine that is situated just off to the right; next to it is a similarly large claw game, one of those things that always cheats and drops the stuffed animal right before you get it over the chute. I hate those things!
Hey, the classics never go out of style! It’s a comically large check. But this poor young lady is in for a rude surprise – that ATM doesn’t have any envelopes large enough to accommodate this thing! Well, wait a minute, I guess she could fold it. She’d better get started on that.
True story: I won a giant check when I was in fourth grade. It was for an essay contest, and my piece was titled “I Pity the Consciousness: Cartesian Dualism in the Milieu of The A Team.” Swept the damn awards, I can tell you. So I get the check and I’m all ready to take it to the bank and cash it, when Ms. Milliver comes over and asks for it back - it’s just a prop, she says, it’s not really a check, she says, they’ve got a gift certificate for O.G. Wilson’s that I can have and the check was never really mine.
Something changed in me that day. The young boy that had enough trust in his heart to take the world at face value grew up abruptly; things looked a little bit different from that point on, and although I would learn to trust again, I would go through my youth wondering what other cherished tenet of my faith might be built upon shaky sand.
Oh, and yes, hellllooo ladies!
Fabulous. What could be better than getting a giant novelty check? How about having it presented to you by a giant superhero dog? This is life right here, friends – study this picture so you’ll recognize good times when they come your way. Also, please notice the smaller dog off to the right – isn’t he adorable? Who’s a good doggy, huh? You are! You are!
You know what would be great? Go to JC Penney on one of those weekends when their shirts are “buy one, get one for a penny,” and pay for the first shirt, then say, “um, excuse me, I need to go out to my car, be right back,” then roll this sucker in. Second shirt! Yessir.
This guy got a giant check! That’s always fun. Direct deposit would be more practical, but what can you do? Sometimes it’s more about the check than the money, if you know what I mean. But this check? This is just silly.