Comically Large Things

Because sometimes, size matters.

This is a site dedicated to things that are abnormally large. You should totally read all of the stuff on this site, internalize it, take it home with you and meditate on it. This is the essence of life, the breath of Gaia, the very reason we are all here. Disproportionately large stuff = happy. Rock on, my children!

Giant toilet!

Ahhhh hahahahahaha …. hahahaha … toilet!

28.May.08 Appliances, Rear ends Comment (1)

Giant Thermos!

So I’m walking into work the other morning, carrying my trusty Thermos of freshly brewed joe, and up comes one of my co-workers, smart look on his face, and he says to me, he says, “You know, the only good thermos is a Stanley thermos.”

To which I said, of course, “False that!” You’ll notice that when he said thermos, it was with a lower-case “t” - because my man there didn’t realize that there is no such thing as a “Stanley thermos.” Thermos is a brand, suckers! And what a brand it is. Giant, baby!

08.May.08 Appliances Comment (1)

Giant Zippo lighter!

I enjoy smoking a cigar as much as the next guy, and even the occasional pipe. And I’ve tried to get into the whole business of finding just the right lighter, but it’s never felt right to me - no matter which ones I try, I always go back to the plain old box of matches. Simple, earthy, effective, clean, classic.

That said, sometimes you need more firepower, I suppose. Like, for instance, I bet this lady could use the Zippo seen here. Gotta watch the eyebrows, though.

14.Apr.08 Appliances Comments (0)

Giant remote control, with girl!

“Judge says, ‘what you got in your defense, son?’ I said ‘57 channels and nothing’s on.’” Wouldn’t have had that problem if you had this sucker! I bet this thing could find entertaining content at the drop of an antennae-shaped hat. Why, I bet there’s a button here marked “Gooder Than Hell.” Gotta buy one of these.

Also, hellllloooo ladies!

10.Apr.08 Appliances, People, Toys Comments (0)

Giant coffee cup, about to tump over!

AHHHHHHGGGHHGHH! EVERYBODY GET OUT OF THE WAY! There’s a freakishly large cup of coffee up there, and it’s about to tump over, spilling god-knows-how-much scalding hot liquid on whomever is below! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!

And yes, “tump” is a word. It’s an intransitive verb, meaning “to fall over.” I totally looked it up.

03.Apr.08 Appliances, Divine hammer Comments (3)

Giant pizza cutter!

DUDE, GET OUT OF THE WAY! There’s a huge pizza cutter rolling toward you … and dammit if it doesn’t look like your “friend” is doing the pushing! You call that guy a friend? Look, he’s even smiling as he does it! I bet he’ll be laughing his rear end off once he bisects your upper leg. You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, homes, and get some new friends.

20.Feb.08 Appliances, Divine hammer, Food Comments (2)

Giant fork!

Man, look at this fork! It’s almost unsightly, it’s so big. Impractical. Well, it’s impractical if you’re using it to eat, I suppose, but it’s probably pretty great at serving up food on to the plate. Looks like that’s what’s going on here.

But you know what? Despite my previous trepidation, I’d still like to give it a shot - you know, dipping this thing into a big Rubbermaid tub full of macaroni and cheese and pulling myself out a horse-sized bite. That would be gooder than hell!

07.Feb.08 Appliances, Food Comments (0)

Giant cheese slicer!

Let me tell you something - if you put one of these in your kitchen or living room, you’re just asking for trouble. Look at the size of that blade - exposed, with no sort of safety mechanism! Trouble. That’s all this is. And I much prefer the rustic sorts of edges you get when you break cheese by hand, anyway. (Please note: I have successfully gone this entire time without a fart joke. Hooray for me!)

27.Jan.08 Appliances, Food Comments (0)

Giant hose!

Holy crap, look at the size of this hose! Unbelievable. You know what would be totally bitchin’ camaro, is if you had a proportionately large sprinkler - one of those that spins around? No, wait, wait EVEN BETTER! A slip-and-slide thing big enough to accommodate the flow of water this sucker puts out! I think I’d probably be too scared to use it, now that I think about it.

22.Jan.08 Appliances, Toys Comments (0)