Comically Large Things

“La, LA, la LA la la, LA, la la LA la …. La, LA, la LA la GGGAGAAAAAAUUUUUGGHH EVERYBODY RUN HE’S PISSED!”

Who’s a good boy? Huh, who’s a good boy? OH PLEASE DEAR LORD I HOPE YOU ARE A GOOD BOY.

These boobies are very large. You can’t really tell from the scale of the picture, but trust me, they’re huge. Giant, huge boobies.

Also: Welcome to our latest batch of pervs arriving via Google!

Here we have a very large cupcake, being mounted by a monkey. This is not something you see every day. No, in fact, it has been at least a week since I have last seen a monkey attempting to get jiggy with a cupcake.

(Note to un-cool people: “get jiggy” is a phrase the kids are using these days to indicate physical intercourse. That, or dancing, I’m not really sure.)

Rubber duckie, you’re the one! You make running in fear for my life so much fun!

According to the photographer of this beauty, Albert here is the world’s largest bull. He has, and I quote, “baby blue eyes and giant concrete gonads.” Which means he has a lot in common with me.

Here’s a new song I wrote. Sing it to the tune of “Fire Burning” by Sean Kingston:

“Somebody call 911, there’s a giant golden idol head of Bast, driven mad by centuries of bloodlust, getting ready to devour a young lady foolish enough to pause for a moment in her wake …

“um, on the dance floor.”