Who’s a good boy? Who is he? Who is a good boy? Is it you? Are you a good boy? YOU ARE! Yes, you are! Yes, that’s a good bo-
OH GOD NO NO NO, DON’T SIT ON MY LAP! AAAAUUUGGGGHHH I CAN’T FEEL MY FEET ANYMORE
These boobies are very large. You can’t really tell from the scale of the picture, but trust me, they’re huge. Giant, huge boobies.
Also: Welcome to our latest batch of pervs arriving via Google!
Here we have a very large cupcake, being mounted by a monkey. This is not something you see every day. No, in fact, it has been at least a week since I have last seen a monkey attempting to get jiggy with a cupcake.
(Note to un-cool people: “get jiggy” is a phrase the kids are using these days to indicate physical intercourse. That, or dancing, I’m not really sure.)
According to the photographer of this beauty, Albert here is the world’s largest bull. He has, and I quote, “baby blue eyes and giant concrete gonads.” Which means he has a lot in common with me.
Here’s a new song I wrote. Sing it to the tune of “Fire Burning” by Sean Kingston:
“Somebody call 911, there’s a giant golden idol head of Bast, driven mad by centuries of bloodlust, getting ready to devour a young lady foolish enough to pause for a moment in her wake …
“um, on the dance floor.”
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Boy, I really need to find out what store this is in, because I need to make sure I never take my dog in there. She’s getting up in the years, but she doesn’t realize it. So she’d totally try to devour this thing, which her aging GI tract would have problems with. Dogs are just like people, aren’t they? We always think we can take on more than we actually can. Life’s funny like that.
You know, the more I look at this, the more I’m starting to think that this isn’t actually a dog biscuit.
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