Comically Large Things

Giant kitty needs a home!

Kind of a sad story tonight out of New Jersey - an abandoned kitty needs a home. The kitty weighs 44 pounds, and will eat your cell phone or your arm if you wave it in front of her.

“She’s built like a quarterback,” said Deborah Wright, a shelter volunteer and current foster owner of the kitty. “I mean, how do you lose a 44-pound cat?!”

Shelter officials are calling the porky cutie “Princess Chunk.”

Interestingly, Princess Chunk was the name of my 90s grunge rock band. We broke up after Zeke decided he was too good to play bass. Was going to go do spoken-word improv for Chrysler. What the hell? Any fool could see that Chrysler was only experimenting with spoken-word, they weren’t in it for the long haul. You look at Detroit today, there are hardly any automakers with a substantial spoken-word outreach program.

Zeke, you dumbass.

30.Jul.08 Animals Comments (0)

Giant fishing bobber!

I have no idea what these things are used for, as I am not a fisherman myself (which has been previously established). I think this is the thing you put the worm inside, and the smell it gives off as it tries to escape attracts the fish. Or something like that.

17.Jul.08 Animals, Sports Comments (0)

Giant stone fist, punching a nice lady!

No manners, that’s all I have to say about this. Here we have a stone golem, taking out his centuries-old hostility on a perfectly nice woman who just happened to walk by. His sorcerer was evidently a cruel master, and it imbued his stony heart with a distrust of all humanity.

Still, no need to hit a lady. Never cool, golem.

17.Jul.08 Divine hammer, Hands, Robots Comments (0)

Giant peanut butter and chocolate cookie!

Sing it with me now: C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me … cookie cookie cookie starts with I can’t wait to eat this whole thing in like 2 bites, stomach ache be damned!

17.Jul.08 Food Comments (0)