Giant fortune cookie!
“You are about to get one mother of a stomach ache. Why did you eat this thing, anyway? Don’t you realize that fortune cookies are not authentic Asian cuisine, but rather another crass bit of westernization? Shame on you. I bet you ordered sweet and sour chicken, didn’t you? You putz. Lucky numbers: 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, & 42″

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