Hey, the classics never go out of style! It’s a comically large check. But this poor young lady is in for a rude surprise – that ATM doesn’t have any envelopes large enough to accommodate this thing! Well, wait a minute, I guess she could fold it. She’d better get started on that.
I’m not one who is given to hyperbole. Really, I’m not. But I have to say, this scares the Jonas out of me! I can totally get behind giant desserts. I’ve eaten more than my share of them. But none of them were able to fly! I shudder to think what might be hiding inside this thing, biding its time, waiting for the right mouth to chomp down on it – and then – SLAM! The little alien thing jumps out and goes right down your throat and possesses your body. Don’t eat food that knows how to fly!
Here, friends, we have proof of the old “everything in moderation” rule, because as this picture demonstrates, even healthy foods can lead to unfavorable side effects if eaten in too great a quantity. Who is to say what caused this girl’s amazing growth spike – broccoli? liver? blueberries? – but whatever it was, it was clearly too much. Young ladies should not grow to a size at which they are able to stomp the family car.
We had gnomes on my lawn when I was a kid. Mom thought they were cute, and dad was indifferent. Not me, though, because I knew what those things were up to. I watched them from my bedroom window at night, when everybody else in the house was asleep … and the gnomes thought I was too, because I could see them switching positions. So we’d get up in the morning and everybody noticed that the one with the red hat was now standing where the one with the blue hat was yesterday – but nobody said a thing. It created a rift, a silence, which in time would tear our family apart. I hate those damned gnomes.
Also, hello ladies!
Man, look at this booty! Exactly what kind of foot is this monster going to go on, huh? You tell me. Perhaps it is a creature whose lower extremity is so huge, he only needs one of them. OH MY GOD.
Helllloooo ladies! Love the sight of this. This woman is not only enormous in scale, she is also huge in bravery and social comfort – here she is, laying on her back inside some sort of retail establishment, her fishnetted legs sticking out the window for all below and above to enjoy! I gotta start shopping there.
It’s the giant lemon that draws you in, but it’s the jalapeno pepper cheese on a stick that makes you stay! Ladies, if your man insists on downing one of these, you need to insist on separate beds tonight.