Comically Large Things

Man, I love noodles. One of life’s sublime pleasures, truly, whether doused in marinara or gently kissed with soy. Hey, wait a minute, you don’t rinse your noodles after cooking them, do you? You better not! You rinse my noodles and I’m never speaking to you again! Rinsing freshly cooked noodles washes away the crucial starches which allow your chosen sauce to adhere to the noodly surface. Don’t rinse them! (Not like you have a sink big enough to rinse the noodles that are going in this bowl anyway, am I right? I mean, come on, people, am I right?)