Comically Large Things

Giant candy corn!

You know, I love candy. But I’ve never liked candy corn. There’s something about the aftertaste that gives me a stomach ache - like the smell of your grandmother’s car on a hot afternoon. No, I’d rather have some gummi bears, jelly beans, chewy sours, you know, that kind of thing - any fruit-flavored pectin-based chew is what I’m all about.