Comically Large Things

Holy crap! This is the kind of sandwich that makes your eyes go blurry if you eat it. Whose mouth can open wide enough to fit this sumbitch? Come on, really now. And it’s kinda sloppy the way they put it together. I’m always afraid I’ll accidentally eat one of the toothpicks. That would hurt.

Oh heck yeah. Let me tell you something, I have no patience for things like this giant shrimp bullying people. Look at how he’s sneaking up on the guy, trying to frighten him! Disgusting. I’ve got a message for you, giant shrimp - you come and sneak up on me like this, and I will dip your ass in a giant bowl of cocktail sauce and eat you. See if I don’t.

Hey, look at this girl - she’s got giant sunglasses on! Par-tay! Nothing lets the good times roll quite like big ol’ sunglasses. And that scarf is totally kickin’ as well.

AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH! It’s a giant teddy bear! Sweet god, I hope its intentions are kind and gentle. You think about all of the kids who have mistreated teddy bears down through the centuries, and you’d understand why a dimensional teddy bear might have reason to be pissed. But maybe this time it’s different. Maybe this time it brings a message of peace and love.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Heck yeah you are - somewhere close, there’s a frighteningly large baby whose titanic diaper is about to fall down! Let’s all hope against hope that said baby hasn’t yet soiled the diaper, otherwise the poor citizens of this town are in for some stink!

Is that a dude? I think that’s a dude. Got a very manly face, but a very un-manly figure. Let me tell you this much, though: If I get put next to this person on an airplane, I’m gonna be upset. Somebody’s gonna lose their job in front of that.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: If they can teach dogs to play poker, why can’t they teach bears to entertain us? Well, for once science has listened to the people and somehow engineered a singing and guitar-playing bear. Nice fashion sense on this one, too.

I am curious about his tuning - looks like he’s got some some sort of open tuning going on, which makes it easier to form chords with large fingers. That comes in handy in his case, no doubt.