Comically Large Things

Dammit, what is wrong with people? This girl is hugging this giant needle like it’s a friend of hers. That thing is not your friend, honey! Can you imagine the burn-hole it’s gonna leave in your arm? I mean. I hate needles! This thing would scare the excrement right out of me if I saw it coming at me in an exam room. And what would your doctor say about that dosage?

Oh hell yes … I am gonna eat that! That’s a fine piece of meat right there. No room on the plate for macaroni or baked potato or whatever. Who needs carbs when you’ve got a solid pound or two of moo staring you down? Not me. I’m ready to get elbow-deep in this mess.

KICK ASS!

Man, this big ol’ box of crackers could not have come along at a better time. I’m starving! Now I need to locate the peanut butter and jelly jars of equivalent size. Not to mention some sort of instrument for doing the spreading. Then it is on!

You know, you look at the mournful face on this pup, and you can practically read his mind: “Why did master feed me that potion, instead of just pouring it down the sink? Why isn’t nature’s plan good enough for him? Didn’t he stop to think what life on this cruel earth would be like for a dog of my now-giant stature? People will fear me where they would once have loved me. Will I ever be able to love again?”

This little fella has got it right – he’s got the giant foam hand, plus a hat that will turn heads on the street! Way to go, young man. Clearly the yellow and gold motif is meant to represent some sports team, I believe.

Frankly, friends, I have my doubts about this one. The more I look at it, the more I come to believe it’s a normal-sized picture frame, and that the people in it and the background behind it are intricately detailed miniatures. Because think about it – who would ever bother to manufacture a picture frame as large as the one implied here? You’re never gonna find a print big enough to fill it, so what’s the point? I ask you, what’s the point?